Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Overheard in a Flame suite at PSYOP

"We need to think outside the box... but stay within Center-Cut protection"

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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

a redhead for a cellphone

Overheard in Columbus, OH

"I broke the charger for my last phone a month ago having sex with my new girlfriend for the first time...so at least I got a redhead out of the deal."

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

NYC Drunken Credo

"If I cannot find a dark place to pee in public in New York City, than I am not a man."

January 2008, Brooklyn

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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Wizard of Oz Joke

Found in a notebook:

Pay no attention to the man behind the joint!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

friends tomorrow

i am a broke ass bitch but twice today my friends tried to pay for something and instead of taking cash i said they should buy me food some other time and told them "i would rather have friends tomorrow than money today" and i really think that's true. I would rather have 2 hours to sit and eat and talk with someone than to have the exact amount of money spent on that meal in my wallet today. ha. now i have plans in the future. i love plans. friends rule.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Bethany Adkins Cracks Me Up

To Mike Patton:

I'm still at work and I was just telling someone about our Jack Daniels drinking contest tomorrow and I called it a "Jack off." Like "dance off", you know. Ha ha. Anyway, be prepared. Bring it on.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Oneliners from Last Night

Panhandler Girl 1

"Can I ask you a question?")

"You just used it up."


Panhandler Girl 2

"Listen, man, we are just trying to get money to go home. We're from out of town."

"Well I brought my own stranded drifter with me tonight, and we're still trying to get HIM home."

(During the Marvin The Robot Music Video shoot I made Miles go on some sketchy mossy rocks and he fell into Lake Michigan... which of course fried his cellphone... which of course was the only way his ride back to Ohio could get ahold of him... so now he's on a greyhound 2 days later LOL)


7:30 pm


"Man I wish we had some girls."


8:30 pm

"Man I wish we could get rid of these girls, they're annoying."


8:45 pm
"Man I wish we had some girls."

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Heather Hay - The Boss Just Left

Heather Hay (to our Waiter)

We are your worst table right now. The boss just left and we are all broke.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

A Saturday Night With Sprockethole

A Saturday Night with Sprockethole at The Vic Theatre, Chicago:

LndZ: I can tell already that these guys on the right side are gonna be assholes all night. They are stepping on me while I am just talking to you guys.

Dan: Tell her, she's fierce as hell at shows.

LndZ and Dan take a look at Sprocket.

Lindz: Yeah, she's real fierce over there, all wide eyed and giggling. Who is she gonna intimidate?

Sprocket: (laughing) What? What did u guys say?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Eric Wood vs. Karie Hambrick

Eric: Well we are both Libras, so we may be fighting over who is the center of attention.

Dan: No, Eric, you are the center of attention. Karie is the epi-center of Earthquake Attention.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

sometimes you just yell at the movies

Dan to Albert Brooks, in Modern Romance

What the fuck are you doing you crazy fucking crazy fuck?

Friday, May 26, 2006

Greg Dulli Inspires Greatness

On the way to St. Andrews Hall last night to see The Twilight Singers, Mark Samp gave us this gem:

Did you hear about the guy that slept with the Chinese hooker?

He was horny again 30 minutes later.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Playing Hard To Get

"Play hard to get, she'll want you more. Play too hard to get, you'll be jerkin off."

The Great FUNKASAFALEES (Gabriel Hall)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Friday, January 20, 2006

Silver Jews Lyric Of The Week

"You can live again. But you'll have to die twice in the end."
-The Silver Jews

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Pop Goes the Devil

Say what you want about the Devil, but I bet he gives a good reach around. Anyone can give you a bad one, the Devil would do something special.


Monday, December 26, 2005


"Man you guys are creepy, but that does sound cool."

- J
(on spying)

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Montreal Chant / AKA The Hell's Freezer Revue

Wallet in my hand.

(That mean's it's OK to go inside the hotel from the taxi.)

(Que le sens il sera obligé à aller bien dans l'hôtel du taxi.)

Montreal, QC 2005

Sunday, August 21, 2005

No License for your Sake

Russ: We'll have Sampora

Sushi Waitress: ro riquor ricense.

Russ: We don't need ricor risin. We want Sampora

Sushi Waitress: ro riquor ricense.

Russ: Sampora

Mike: No Booze, dude. No booze at all.

Russ: No liquor license!!! Ahh!

Friday, July 15, 2005

on partying hard


I just blew off my training wheels on that one.

Mark- (minutes later)
I just got put back on my big wheel.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Dan's favorite comic book became a movie...

When I was buying tickets this is what happened

"3 for FF."

"Excuse me??"

"I said.. 3 for FF."

"Oh I'm sorry FF is comic book geek talk for Fantastic Four"

one for the mentor

Chris Wirth has quadruple personality disorder. And none of them can agree on anything.


Thursday, June 16, 2005

Don't Talk To Chris

Chris Wirth is fucking hilarious. People walk up to him and try to talk to him about technical job things but he's on some crazy meds this week so his answer to their questions are a nice hefty shaking of his medicine containers and he says "nooooo questions."

Friday, June 10, 2005

Funny Bonnaroo Quotes

Mark Samp was driving Mark Geralds' manual transmission truck while he was smoking a cigarette, trying to change the music and attempting to shift. He's not very good at shifting so I said to him

"Why are you multi-tasking when you can't even task?"

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I will see Europe before I have a wife or a mortgage.

-Dan 2002

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Woody's Wisdom

Best Catchphrase from Friday night:

"Don't listen to me, that's the sake talking."

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

CMU 1994 Memories

went to that dollar store on mission and ended up buying a bathroom sign.

i bought one that said WOMEN and we would leave our door unlocked during the day and girls would just WANDER in and be like
"oh i thought this was the.."

"BATHROOM IS OVER THERE.. have at it."

and then they'd come out and hang out with us sometimes. It was brilliant.

Friday, April 29, 2005

strange things are afoot at the circle k

if April showers bring May flowers

does April snow bring May hos?

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I lost a pizza.

I had a pizza not 2 hours ago.

Either the cleaning crew stole my pizza, or I lost my pizza.

There could be a pizza sitting on a video deck somewhere.

It could be my fault.

I lost a pizza.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

honest? johns in detroit city

we were hanging out in the cass corridor area. the dude around the pool table was all over the place. rubbing against us and falling over himself.

someone made note of his motor skills. the impairment was noted.

Then Israel Nordin busts us up with
"he's walking around like he doesn't have any toes."

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Tammy.. come!!! Watch that dog run!!!!

my dad just reminded me of something we used to do that i forgot about
i asked if the computer was in the dining room when we first got it he said no.

i remembered hanging out in that room but not what we did in there. (i was 4 when we moved here)
i said "the stereo was in there wasn't it?" and he said yup and headphones and stuff and even a microphone.
"you used to call the dog in the microphone and laugh when it ran to the other room where the speakers are... you were so mean."

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Armenian Family

Ed Kamar: i need help
Dan Boujoulian: i've been saying that about you for years
Ed Kamar: haha
Ed Kamar: ok ass